Q: How can you tell if a pro-athlete is taking performance enhancing drugs?

A: They’re on a bicycle

I don’t watch sport, I find it boring watching a bunch of people running around a field, or kicking a ball back and forth. I enjoy being out cycling, but watching cyclists is mind-numbingly boring.

Only once did I follow sport for a short time. That was more out of professional interest when Phonak, one of the major hearing aid manufacturers, sponsored a pro-cycle team. The team only lasted around three seasons – it was wound up because of recurring drug use amongst team members, including Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton who were sometime team mates of Lance Armstrong. Maybe that’s what you get when you have Alex Zulle as a team manger. Since then I’ve been deeply cynical about pro-cyclists. I just assume now that they’re all taking performance enhancers.